Friendships can be great, exciting, necessary and tricky. Friendships between Christians and non-Christians can be especially tricky? Why?
What makes a friend? Being connected to them on facebook? Here are some things I think make a friendship:
- You tend to have a few close friends. You might know a lot of people, but only a few are friends.
- You tend to have friends that you have things in common with.
- You generally want to spend time with your friends. (I know this is obvious, but sometimes it is the sign that someone thinks you are their friend because they want to spend time with you, but it is not reciprocated…awkward huh?).
- You have a sense of equality with your friends. Which is why it is hard to be friends with your boss.
- You tend to have friends who see the world in a similar way to you.
Or as one person put it: “A friend is a trustworthy peer, whom we mutually chose to lovingly live with to seek our mutual good”
Sometimes though friendship can be put to the test when you don’t have everything in common, especially the way you see the world. It is hard to be friends with someone who sees the world as something to be exploited when you see the world as something that needs to be looked after, or being friend with a racist when you think everyone has a right to live in the world.
This is where Christian/ non-Christian friendships can be difficult. There are some core values that Christians have because they are Christian and non-Christians have because they are not. There will also be some core values that they share because people tend to have somethings in common.
Here is where things might get a bit touchy if you are reading this as a non-Christian. I can’t work out another, less awkward way of putting this, so until someone else helps me here is the honest truth. Christians will tend to go to other Christians for advice or counsel, because they are seeking counsel from people who share their worldview. That might make you feel like you are a second rate friend. But you need to understand that part of friendship is having a similar worldview and you may not.
What do we do?1. Realise that we have differences and that is OK.
2. To be friends we need to be looking for things that we have in common. No-one is going to agree 100% with someone else. But where you can seek counsel from one-another about the things you have in common.
3. Christians need to realise that they are called to love more than their friends and that means loving people you might be friends with.
““43 You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing out of the ordinary? Don’t even the Gentiles do the same?” (Matthew 5:43-47 HCSB)
4. non-Christians, we would like you to help us do this. We want to be friends with people who aren’t Christian. We do want to share with you about our view of the world and Jesus, not because we will get brownie points (Jesus has given us all we need on that front) and not because we think we are better than you (though I can understand that might be how you feel) but because we simply think that being a Christian is the best thing in the world.
Questions to ponder:- Who are your friends?
- Who do receive counsel from?
- Who do you like hanging out with?
- How do you be friends with someone who has a completely different worldview to you?
